A Lesson on Courage

Today was my first language lesson. I was so excited about beginning my study of the Romanian language. The excitement was overtaken by the intense fear that I felt about traveling in the city alone to get to my lesson. My outing would take about 3 hours to and from with the lesson included. I would spend about an hour on the minibus and then another 30 minutes or so walking (good exercise). I don’t even travel (on foot) in the city alone back home….with good reason! I kept hoping that something would come up so that I didn’t have to go to my lesson today. i.e. the lesson would be cancelled by my teacher, I would need to work on school stuff, etc. Nothing came up. I even asked the 11 yr. old to come along with me. She didn’t think it sounded like fun (what 11 yr. old would?) I even bribed her with a candy bar. It was to no avail.

Sensing my fear and resistance to this new step for me, Andy and Nancy prayed for me last night and again before I ventured out on my own today. Even though I know that God is with me and I believe in his covering and protection, I still tend to make myself sick with worry. This frustrates me so much. I want to completely trust God and surrender the situation to him. Instead, I give into the flesh and listen to Satan’s lies about everything bad that could happen. When I walk in fear instead of faith, I am paralyzed by the fear.

Today, holding back tears I left our protective gate of the house and my comfort zone to have a lesson in courage. Andy and Nancy both were so encouraging and reassured me of the confidence they had in me. This helped somewhat to build my level of confidence which was zilch. Andy also said, “John Wayne used to say courage is saddling up and riding in spite of the fear (paraphrased by yours truly).” The Bible also tells us that faith is the evidence of things not seen. I know all this, yet I still struggled today.

What it boils down to is that I had to step out and muster up what little courage I could in order to build confidence, grow, and experience God’s faithfulness. A verse that comes to mind is…When I am weak, He is strong!! Today I lacked much. I was extremely weak in faith, but in spite of my fearful self, the Lord blessed, guided, and protected me. Thanks be unto God.

Lesson: Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do. Lesson: The only way to grow is to step out of the comfort zone. Lesson: If I had not stepped out today, I could be in this same place of fear 1 month down the road. How this blog ends: I ended up doing just fine. No one spoke to or bothered me the whole trip. People here don’t smile, make eye contact, or talk to strangers often. It’s the Moldovan way. I was able to stop the bus driver both times where I needed to get off. I didn’t get hit by a fast moving car or even a slow one. None of my worries came to fruition. Not one of them. This builds confidence for the next trip and the next trip. Praise the Lord.